Am I a Better Person Yet?

Does cancer make me a better person than you? Does it endow me with Special Qualities? How about Special Wisdom? Have I Conquered it? Am I now one of the Chosen Ones? Is the “Suffering” I “Endured” during treatments more terrible than anything you might have possibly experienced outside of cancer land? Am I a…

World Peace Day – Pray for Sacred Lands.

“To us, as caretakers of the heart of Mother Earth, falls the responsibility of turning back the powers of destruction. You yourself are the one who must decide. You alone – and only you – can make this crucial choice, to walk in honor or to dishonor your relatives. On your decision depends the fate…

Feeling sexy is an inside job.

Today, I was a Beauty Queen.  I walked in the Astoria Regatta Parade at the front of the Blue Scorcher  “Float”  which we put together out of banners we made yesterday, combined with the signs from our farmers market booth, and flags made for the Lughnasa festivals of the past.  It was held together with bamboo and zip…

The Answer to Everything.

Sometimes I wish that I had a magic wand. Well, often I wish that I had a magic wand. Sometimes I wish I had the answer to all our problems.  The recent waves of crazy make this more so than usual. Each time something happens it seems to up the ante on violence. Like the…

The Buddha in the borderlands

There are so many words swirling around these days. The world is filled to overflowing with events. I have been writing and writing – considering and dreaming – processing and lamenting. There are 31 posts in what I call the draft drawer. Tackling topics like; racism in America, hard friendships, Tamoxifen.. again, the healing power…

The Madonna, Mama’s Day & Mudflap Babes

Mama’s Day My boys surprised me this year for Mother’s Day with an evening picnic out by the river. Joe took me for a walk Saturday, and then on the way back, low and behold, there were our two sons lounging on a blanket with all the accruements for a picnic. Including flowers picked in our…

Magical Realism

Many folks upon hearing they have a serious diagnosis of any kind, go immediately in one of a few different directions. Either they hunker down to being realistic at all costs, go look up their prognosis on actuary charts and prepare for the worst. Or  they might try denial, LALALALA. Perhaps they decide to “Fight Fight Fight – never…

Are you sure you really ever had cancer?

As I approach the anniversary of my diagnosis I have been reflecting on how far I have come.  This post is perhaps a bit more in the realm of venting than usual. Details of my western medical treatments and their aftermath, along with the effects of impertinent questions. Read at your own risk. I will have my…

Prodigal Daughter

Yesterday the rains returned, ending our days in the sun for the time being. We came back from our Southwest travels only to dive straight into some needed kinwork. Then last week I was gifted the opportunity to go to Breitenbush for a writing workshop taught by my friend Amy. Even though I had never met the fellow writers in…

Released from the hospital.

I am recovering nicely from the surgery, we had excellent care while there. The benefits of the paravertabral block include less pain post surgery- which means I have been comfortable. I was released today to go home with my family. Dr. De la Melena suggested we stay in Portland tonight so we are at my…