Camo for Amazons

I have been learning how to tie beaded necklaces lately.  This serves several purposes, by using my fingers for fine motor skills I am improving my hand neuropathy. It also gives me something productive to do while supine in the nest-the one sunny place to lay down in our house. This feels especially important when I am not the energy bunny I most love to be. The final added bonus is creating new things to adorn my self with.  What ever it is I am metamorphosing into, I seem to be increasingly delighted with sparkly things and colorful clothing.

Enter the amazonite necklaces that I just made. Amazonite is a stone that has been enjoyed for thousands of years, and comes in several colors, often in beautiful blue-ish green, and milky green hues. I feel drawn to adorning my amazon self with a gemstone named for the one breasted women of antiquity.  Amazonite has been attributed with various metaphysical properties – if you are courious about such things, you can read about them here.  As I embrace my new body I feel excited by the positive things that may come about as I walk comfortably as an Amazon.

My new Amazonite adornment.
My new Amazonite adornment.

I have also been sewing a bit, and going thrift store shopping. It feels really good to be dressing to please myself, rather than dressing for practicality, which has been my main clothing objective for the past 10 years as a baker.  The combination of summer heat, and hot flashes have made the idea of seeking out a prosthetic breast to wear quite unappealing.  Which means that I have been going about town with nothing to disguise my one breasted status.  I am not feeling disturbed by my body, but I have wondered if other people might feel uncomfortable when they see me. Which gave me the idea that perhaps there could be some means to camouflage my uniboob chest.  So here is what the boys and I have come up with so far:

Mr. Sparky AKA RatBag is particularly well suited as a form of camouflage, who could see past his cuteness?
Mr. Sparky AKA RatBag is particularly well suited as a form of camouflage, who could see past his cuteness?
Mrs. Penny Feather the one eyed chicken is happy to oblige me by acting as accessory .
Mrs. Penny Feather the one eyed chicken is happy to oblige me by acting as an accessory .
Luna our albino Guinea pig is always looking for ways to be of service.
Luna our albino Guinea pig is always looking for ways to be of service.
Chai the Moviestar couldn't rest until she had her moment in front of the camera.
Chai the Moviestar couldn’t rest until she had her moment in front of the camera.
Hydrangeas are a huge favorite - Martin thought that I needed a botanical solution, and after all people are used to seeing people with corsages.
Hydrangeas are a huge favorite – Martin thought that I needed a botanical solution, and after all people are used to seeing people with corsages.
Those in the know about fashion, suggested some clothing ideas. The Mini MuMu solution was quite effective, as you can see here.
Those in the know about fashion, suggested some clothing ideas.
The Mini MuMu solution was quite effective, as you can see here.
Classic Deer Hunter Garb is always popular in Clatsop County- and very effective for the post mastectomy woman who hopes to blend in.
Classic Deer Hunter Garb is always popular in Clatsop County- and very effective for the post mastectomy woman who hopes to blend in.
Stripes weren't quite as successful as we had hoped.
Stripes on the other hand weren’t quite as successful as we had hoped.
Adding a bit of Bling so to speak really saved this outfit I think.
Adding a bit of Bling so to speak really saved this outfit I think.

We are open to Any other ideas for what Joe has coined Boob Ou’Flage.  We here at A.C.K think that this concept could be very helpful for other women in a similar situation.  I know that I am feeling much less worried about what others might think about my chest, now that I know I have so many excellent means of making my new body blend right in.

Advertisements

8 Comments Add yours

  1. Julia says:

    Iris,
    First off I just have to say ” I love YOU!” What a great post! You really made me smile just thinking of you posing with the small furry and feathered. It is interesting though that we try to cover up that which gives us such strong character. As you probably know, my son lost his arm in an accident a few years back. He eventually lost his insurance and could not afford a prosthetic. He has a favorite T-shirt that has a cut off arm giving the thumb’s up sign. Below it reads: Keep Optimistic. At first I thought it was offensive, but then I got it. He is quite a courageous young man and his presence often forces folks to feel their own mortality. Anyway, you are right to not worry about what others think. Who you are and all you have been through is a living message that speaks to the life, light, and vulnerability in all of us. And that message is just so Iris! So honored to be your friend.

    P.S. Chai the Moviestar really sets off the color of your eyes:)

    1. Sharyn says:

      Well I laughed outrageously! Margaret was wondering what I was laughing about… I loved ALL the fashion ideas, but agree with Martin about the botanical solution. Oh Iris I love you!

  2. Kathy Brown says:

    Iris…you are looking wonderful! Your humor in this posting has got to mean you are feeling much better!

  3. Iris — In one fell swoop, you have raised the bar on fashion modeling. All I can say, besides that I love your full-speed-ahead spirit, is to trust Martin’s fashion instincts and Joe’s matter-of-fact word-coinage. Stay well and perky. Love, David Bennett

  4. Joan E. Duncan says:

    Thank you Iris, for lifting my spirits today! Yes, MY spirits. So selfish of me to need your help, but suffice it to say that some times we just lose our will to try. You are looking so fine and I just love your ideas. Easy to see that your son could’ve built you a wig, but it is unnecessary as your hair comes sprouting back. 🙂 Stay focussed on winning your battle and keep up the good work in sharing your spirit with us, your old friends. xo
    Love from Joan

  5. Julia says:

    That just totally made my morning! You are awesome, Iris.

  6. sue skinner says:

    Too much. Put these in a book and send to Ten Speed Press and Verso, please.

    Love ya’ll forever,

    Sue S

  7. Amy Minato says:

    yes to the book idea! As for fashion, you could hang an attractive feed bag there. always ready with a healthy snack!
    Hey sweetest one would you and your fam like to go out to Joseph? Our house is available next friday for a week.
    let me know soon – I lost your and Joe’s phone numbers…mucho lovo

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s