An update on my new boring life…

My writing on this here blog seems to come to a standstill – languish, and then sputter and start up again for a brief sojourn. This is one such sojourn. In December it will be five years since my breast cancering diagnosis, that arbitrary border of the recurrence danger zone.  Though of course there are…

Cancer: tightrope, time bomb, or agent of freedom?

There is a tightrope walked by folks after a cancering diagnosis. On one end of the rope is the diagnosis, on the other is death.  A diagnosis changes your perception of how long that rope might be. Whereas prior to diagnosis most folks imagine themselves living to a ripe old age while dandling smiling great grand babies on…

Chemo Brain and Object Permanence

Long time no post people.  I am still here, and theoretically not cancering. Part One is about Chemo Brain, and Part Two is an update of sorts… Part 1 :  Chemical Brain Remodeling So, the Brain, what is up with the brain? If I know anything it is that the cancering treatment experience resulted in…

First Love Yourself

“And what do I risk to tell you this, which is all I know? Love yourself. Then forget it. Then, love the world.” Mary Oliver Joe keeps coming back to the quote from Mary Oliver from the poem, To Begin With, the Sweet Grass, that is really resonating with him right now. “And what do I…

Neuropathy: the numbing down of cancering folk.

Neuropathy is a side effect of many cancering drugs. It can have long lasting, and even permanent impact. Balancing effectiveness with neurotoxic side effects is the job of the oncologist. I for one would not want to be in the driver’s seat for that one. Especially with a rubric where weight and age are the…

A.C.K. Goes to Kamp!

Yup. I’m going to Kamp! I mean camp. I leave Saturday for five days to Whidbey Island in the Puget Sound. I am taking a class about natural dyes and botanical printing on cloth from Israeli artist Iris Dulman. Last week at this time I knew nothing of my impending departure. Last Wednesday on a…

This is where it all starts, just come as you are.

The wheel of the year goes round and round, round and round…  Looking out at the emerging leaves and watching the song birds gather bits and pieces for their nests it is with some amazement that I have to realize that it is already May.  Spring always seems like it ought to be the beginning…

Reweaving my Life: unraveling, deconstructing & reimagining

In addition to whatever else I may be, I am a weaver. String and me go way back. It started when my wonderful Aunt Phyllis helped me weave a green rag rug on her floor loom when I was seven years old.  Which later set me up for the work study job I got while pursuing…

Recurrence, an Oncoming Train?

(Disclaimer: Many of you know that I just visited my oncology team last week- Just so you know, all tests came back normal. I continue to have no evidence of returning disease. I am feeling happy, humble and very grateful for being in this place in this moment.) I have thought of western treatments like…

What you need to know about Existential Suffering

Pain and Suffering are different things. This is something I have pondered in superficial ways at times. After reading quite an amazing post, Pain vs Suffering: Why they’re not the same for Patients, on the blog Heart Sisters, my mind is whirling. Carolyn Thomas’s well researched article explains so much.  Though she is a longtime cardiology patient, her insights…

Use your Power for Good.

There used to be an opera programmer on Coast Community Radio when we first moved to town in the mid 1990’s. The programmer, Ed David, was quite elderly at the time. Sometimes there were long pauses while he arranged a record on the turntable, or gathered his thoughts. His thoughts and descriptions were so good,…

Death Defying Acts, or Why I Blog.

There are many realms and layers of influence, the places where our lives intersect intimately with others. Any way you categorize life there are crossroads with other souls. Work, friendships, and these days the vast interwoven web of the world are all places of connection. This can be especially true around important life changing events….