Becoming a Frog on my way to Zen Princess.

All through this journey I have been focused on the idea of metamorphosis. At first all I knew was that I wanted to change, and focused on changing into a new self that was no longer “compatible with cancer.” I started out looking for clues on what I needed to do differently and then worked on…

Holding up the sky for Chicken Little.

  First off my MRI results came to the Clinic yesterday and the Nurse Practitioner, Marion, gave me the all clear. I looked at the report – and it is annoyingly brief. One would think with all the angst I have been feeling this past week that it would have more than a few sentence fragments….

Scan-xiety and Cancering Tourette’s

Good Morning. It’s MRI day here in PookaLand. On the approach to my annual MRI and quarterly blood suck with visit to Dr. Oncology Man, the vibe around here definitely gets a bit wonky. As in deep breathing verging on hyperventilating, and the brain power of a newt. The last few days have seriously been well,…

Call of the Wild

Labor Day weekend. Wow, seems like the summer flew by. Last week we traveled up into the edge of Olympic National Park to camp a few days, and then rushed back so I could meet up with my friend Amy to spend a few days in the Cascades at Breitenbush. 18 hours of driving to…

Chapter One: Waiting

The other evening on my walk home from work in the beautiful summer warmth I started thinking, “What if learning about a serious diagnosis could be empowering, and life affirming rather than terrifying?” What would that look like? Here is the first installment of the story I imagined. I will add to it in the coming weeks. Sort of…

Cancer is a Dinosaur

For those who have been reading since the beginning my slight obsession with the idea that cancer is a verb and not a noun, hence my use of the word cancering, is very familiar.  For those of you who have only recently happened upon my blog – my word choice might seem a bit peculiar. Sort…

Joseph Campbell and Me

The Journey.  Okay. This summer I’ve had the chance to read a whole lot written by other breast cancering babes.  I have also ended up clicking through to many editorial articles.  After about the third time I saw a snarky remark about the “ubiquitous journey” of breast cancer I changed the byline on my blog…

Going Public . . . and now the rest of the Story

To what purpose is this blog? The universe deemed that my little intro draft be published when I merely wished to save it yesterday. So the question still stands, is this blog meaningful to anyone besides myself? Are there standards as to how many people need to be reading or liking or commenting in order for…

The Answer to Everything.

Sometimes I wish that I had a magic wand. Well, often I wish that I had a magic wand. Sometimes I wish I had the answer to all our problems.  The recent waves of crazy make this more so than usual. Each time something happens it seems to up the ante on violence. Like the…

The Buddha in the borderlands

There are so many words swirling around these days. The world is filled to overflowing with events. I have been writing and writing – considering and dreaming – processing and lamenting. There are 31 posts in what I call the draft drawer. Tackling topics like; racism in America, hard friendships, Tamoxifen.. again, the healing power…

Loan Sharks and Cat Naps

“Better listen girl to what I’m tellin’ you You better listen girl, or we are through You better stop all your foolin’ around Stop your runnin’ all over town ‘Cause you’re pushin’ too hard Pushin’ too hard on me (too hard)” The Seeds 1966 Crash. Time’s up. Your goose is cooked. I think that I…

On the Emotional Aftermath of Mastectomy.

This is another post from the draft vault. Written May 2014 a few weeks after my mastectomy and never posted. Though I have written more on the theme of this piece since 2014, I post this now, at the two year anniversary of my surgery, in service to all those who are wrestling with their own feelings either in the…