Charging up the Soul Batteries

A few weeks back in the last rays of sun Joe and I took a stroll on the there-and-back-again version of our neighborhood loop. The light was so good I wanted to drink it. We passed only one person in the perfect evening – one of our neighbors, enjoying his own stroll. He alerted us to…

The Madonna, Mama’s Day & Mudflap Babes

Mama’s Day My boys surprised me this year for Mother’s Day with an evening picnic out by the river. Joe took me for a walk Saturday, and then on the way back, low and behold, there were our two sons lounging on a blanket with all the accruements for a picnic. Including flowers picked in our…

Breast, Singular

I wrote this in early 2015 for submission to The Sun Magazine’s Readers Write section. Topic, Breasts. Though it was not chosen for publication there, I think it is a pretty good piece. (Look here to read the pieces that were chosen.)  So in celebration of the second anniversary of my mastectomy today I give it to all of…

Overdraft Notice

We have lots of accounts that have nothing to do with the banks.  Our Social Capital accounts are filled by all the emotional and care deposits we have made into our various relationships. Our Nutritional accounts, and Sleep accounts keep our bodies working as they should, and our Resiliency account allows us to weather adversity up to…

Walking into Joy

Whoa – Beauty abounds all around.  Due to a confluence of factors, our car in need of repair, newly developed tailbone-bike-seat-incompatibility, plus beautiful weather, all conspired towards my walking to and from work this week.  Basically providing me with two hours each day to reflect on the state of my life, the universe and everything. My goal this…

Riders on the Storm

Here is a long post written August 29, 2015.  Just as we were receiving the first wave of much needed rain after a record breaking dry spring/summer.  “Riders on the storm Riders on the storm Into this house we’re born Into this world we’re thrown” Jim Morrison, The Doors In my new job at the clinic I am responsible…

The Saturation Point

Oh happy May.  Saturday Joe and I went for a delightful walk on an old logging road into the state forest behind Alderbrook.  Immersing ourselves in bird song and the verdant growth of unfurling spring leaves. We spoke of what nurtures, of what fills up our batteries, and how to prioritize joyful activities. Both of us have a…

A Tale of Two Tamoxifens – a case study

*2016 update: I wrote this post in early 2015 while figuring out which brand of Tamoxifen worked best for me. I have since also adjusted my dose from 20mg, to 10mg.  The first thing I do each morning is to push back the curtain and look out at the landscape.  Morning meditation is spent observing the light…

Paradise Lost

“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven..” ― John Milton, Paradise Lost During the thick of my chemo treatments I floated through in an optimistically focused fog.  Mid summer we were scheduled for our “survivorship” appointment with a counselor at Compass Oncology. Which…

Are you sure you really ever had cancer?

As I approach the anniversary of my diagnosis I have been reflecting on how far I have come.  This post is perhaps a bit more in the realm of venting than usual. Details of my western medical treatments and their aftermath, along with the effects of impertinent questions. Read at your own risk. I will have my…

On being a modified radical.

By many accounts I was a radical before any of this cancer-ing journey began – starting a worker cooperative is enough for that title.  Plus I believe in lots of “radical” notions, like universal health care, environmental stewardship, self education and homebirth. I believe in a loving creative god, the consciousness of the entire universe, which doesn’t smite…

Milestones & bumps in the road…

It is one month since the biopsy that started breast-cancer-bootcamp-week  on December 3rd.   The initial acute phase of finding out the details of my diagnosis, and starting treatments is passing, and the process to redefine normal for our household has started.  Today Laura and Jon helped me get a new buzz cut. It was…