Doctors – Riding the Pooka

Chemo Brain and Object Permanence

Long time no post people. I am still here, and theoretically not cancering. Part One is about Chemo Brain, and Part Two is an update of sorts… Part 1 : Chemical Brain Remodeling So, the Brain, what is up with the brain? If I know anything it is that the cancering treatment experience resulted in…

Is it time to retire my Oncologist?

Joe sent me a thought provoking article from the New Yorker on the need for incremental medicine, the kind practiced by old fashioned generalists, contrasted with the heroic medicine practiced by specialists. Which of course had me thinking about how Cancering treatments might be different if we valued the more subtle aspects of medicine as much as…

What you need to know about Existential Suffering

Pain and Suffering are different things. This is something I have pondered in superficial ways at times. After reading quite an amazing post, Pain vs Suffering: Why they’re not the same for Patients, on the blog Heart Sisters, my mind is whirling. Carolyn Thomas’s well researched article explains so much. Though she is a longtime cardiology patient, her insights…

Burning Books and The End of Bad Expectations.

I have a confession. I have burned two books in my life. I am not a fan of censorship, I did read Fahrenheit 451, and to be fair I didn’t seek out every copy and destroy them, or start to steal them from public libraries to prevent others from reading them. Nonetheless I am a book burner. The…

Scan-xiety and Cancering Tourette’s

Good Morning. It’s MRI day here in PookaLand. On the approach to my annual MRI and quarterly blood suck with visit to Dr. Oncology Man, the vibe around here definitely gets a bit wonky. As in deep breathing verging on hyperventilating, and the brain power of a newt. The last few days have seriously been well,…

Movie Review: Living Proof, the story of Herceptin

Last night we finally watched Living Proof, the Story of Herceptin which came out in 2008. The central character is based on researcher Dr. Dennis Slamon, and was played by Harry Connick Jr. in the film. The story was first captured in the 1998 book HER2, the making of Herceptin by Robert Bazell. Usually I am distracted while watching a film adaptation of…

Chapter One: Waiting

The other evening on my walk home from work in the beautiful summer warmth I started thinking, “What if learning about a serious diagnosis could be empowering, and life affirming rather than terrifying?” What would that look like? Here is the first installment of the story I imagined. I will add to it in the coming weeks. Sort of…

Tamoxifen 2.0

For months I have been researching and considering Tamoxifen, the one prescription drug I receive. Last week I decided to take a holiday from it. Wanting to figure out if the side effects I am experiencing are related to Tamoxifen, or some other issue, like turning into an old hag – this is my birthday month after…

Body Sovereignty

Tomorrow we travel to Portland to visit with both Compass Oncology for a blood draw and check up, and to Hai Shan clinic for acupuncture and a reset of my swamp tea formula. The two sides of my treatment coin at the moment. After watching the huge TTAC documentary a few weeks ago, and then…

Breast, Singular

I wrote this in early 2015 for submission to The Sun Magazine’s Readers Write section. Topic, Breasts. Though it was not chosen for publication there, I think it is a pretty good piece. (Look here to read the pieces that were chosen.) So in celebration of the second anniversary of my mastectomy today I give it to all of…

You say Placebo, and I say Nocebo.

pla·ce·bo (pləˈsēbō) a. A substance containing no medication and prescribed or given to reinforce a patient’s expectation to get well. b. An inactive substance or preparation used as a control in an experiment or test to determine the effectiveness of a medicinal drug. no·ce·bo (nəˈsēbō) A detrimental effect on health produced by psychological or psychosomatic…