This is part one of a three part post on the Lymphatic System. Part One – Yin Magic I pretty much think about my lymph system every day. That part of my brain is likely a super highway of neurons by now, while not so long ago it was a barren country two track. I think about my…
Category: breast cancer
Black Lives Matter
I start writing this having just returned from a community discussion hosted by the Lower Columbia Diversity Project. Facilitated by historian, author and activist Walidah Imarisha, and featuring a panel of Adrienne Cabouet, from Black Lives Matter Portland, and Leila Holstein, co-director of the Portland PFLAG Black Chapter. There were roughly 40-50 people in attendance. (Click here…
Don’t Think about Pink Elephants
There is a certain looking-for-trouble aspect of the oncology world that rattles me. I am going in for my yearly mammogram next week. A ridiculous activity geared to make money versus because it makes sense. Everyone in the equation knows that I have an extremely dense breast, and that my mammogram will be inconclusive – a breast…
The Saturation Point
Oh happy May. Saturday Joe and I went for a delightful walk on an old logging road into the state forest behind Alderbrook. Immersing ourselves in bird song and the verdant growth of unfurling spring leaves. We spoke of what nurtures, of what fills up our batteries, and how to prioritize joyful activities. Both of us have a…
A Tale of Two Tamoxifens – a case study
*2016 update: I wrote this post in early 2015 while figuring out which brand of Tamoxifen worked best for me. I have since also adjusted my dose from 20mg, to 10mg. The first thing I do each morning is to push back the curtain and look out at the landscape. Morning meditation is spent observing the light…
Off with the Training Wheels!
This week it is time to get clear about my hopes for the New Year, and do my best to put the old year to rest. On December 30th I woke up smiling- because it was 6:30 not 4:45 a.m. and for the first time in over a year there was no reason to drive to Portland for…
Paradise Lost
“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven..” ― John Milton, Paradise Lost During the thick of my chemo treatments I floated through in an optimistically focused fog. Mid summer we were scheduled for our “survivorship” appointment with a counselor at Compass Oncology. Which…
An Over-Expression of the Heart
Every three weeks I entered the infusion room with a sharpie marker. I used it to write little messages or blessings on my IV bags. Things like ” Thank you yew tree” on the bag of Taxotere, or “Avoid the heart” on the Herceptin. The little ritual of checking to make sure it was my name…
The Happy Anniversary Conundrum.
A year ago yesterday I was given a diagnosis, and got on the Pooka’s back, thereby starting my wild transformative journey. I could not even say the word mastectomy out loud then, I had lots of fear. (I now know that some of my anxiety the week of my biopsy and diagnosis was directly related to a…
Taking care of our own.
Monday afternoon was sunny and crisply cold, the sky a rich winter blue. I attended the beautiful funeral of my friend Meg. Prayers in Hebrew, and of a more Buddhist nature were recited at the graveside service. Words from Shakespeare, Wendell Berry and a Michigan artist/naturalist Gwen Frostic were spoken. Several people stepped forth with stories from the…
“When sorrows come…”
“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” Hamlet to Horatio These last weeks I have been playing a minor character in the last production in the life of my friend Meg. She is dying from late stage breast cancer. I have written before about my views of…
Camo for Amazons
I have been learning how to tie beaded necklaces lately. This serves several purposes, by using my fingers for fine motor skills I am improving my hand neuropathy. It also gives me something productive to do while supine in the nest-the one sunny place to lay down in our house. This feels especially important when I am not the…
Riding the Pooka 