Tamoxifen 2.0

For months I have been researching and considering Tamoxifen, the one prescription drug I receive. Last week I decided to take a holiday from it. Wanting to figure out if the side effects I am experiencing are related to Tamoxifen, or some other issue, like turning into an old hag – this is my birthday month after…

Time Tracking Shenanigans

Lately I have been re-noticing that I am still losing track of things/people/tasks. Time is pretty variable these days.  As I have always been shall we say “time challenged” this isn’t exactly new. However as certain aspects of my chemo-brain continue to heal, namely spacial perception, it makes the other ways my brain has been changed far more noticeable, and…

The Ocean Within – Part Three

This is part three in a series about the lymph, it deals with some of the ins and outs of lymphedema.   Click here to read Part One-Yin Magic  about the lymph as divine feminine & Part Two- Watersheds about the correlations between the Earth and our bodies. Part Three – Eating Rats The lymph system is…

The Ocean Within – Part One

This is part one of a three part post on the Lymphatic System. Part One – Yin Magic I pretty much think about my lymph system every day. That part of my brain is likely a super highway of neurons by now, while not so long ago it was a barren country two track.  I think about my…

A Tale of Two Tamoxifens – a case study

*2016 update: I wrote this post in early 2015 while figuring out which brand of Tamoxifen worked best for me. I have since also adjusted my dose from 20mg, to 10mg.  The first thing I do each morning is to push back the curtain and look out at the landscape.  Morning meditation is spent observing the light…

Lessons from Apple Trees

The house I lived in until I was ten, had many apple trees on the property, both in the yard and out in the pasture to the east.  These were big old trees, probably over a hundred years old.  Though the apples from them were beset with scab and coddling moths, they were still very much worth…

Off with the Training Wheels!

This week it is time to get clear about my hopes for the New Year, and do my best to put the old year to rest.  On December 30th I woke up smiling- because it was 6:30 not 4:45 a.m. and for the first time in over a year there was no reason to drive to Portland for…

Are you sure you really ever had cancer?

As I approach the anniversary of my diagnosis I have been reflecting on how far I have come.  This post is perhaps a bit more in the realm of venting than usual. Details of my western medical treatments and their aftermath, along with the effects of impertinent questions. Read at your own risk. I will have my…

Busy Signals

  I have been very busy these last few weeks.  Tuesday while traveling into Portland for appointments I was thinking about time and phones. When I hold a cell phone with my left hand, and usually when I try holding one to my head, it looses reception. Full bars to zip in an instant. For…

On the other hand . . .

When I look down at my right hand, I see the progression of my treatments visually etched into my nails. Stripes mark the 3-week intervals. The discolored areas that separated from the nail bed, due to the toxins in the yew-based chemo, are now nearly grown out, while the pale stripes marking the Herceptin continue. I…

“When I grow up I want to be an Old Woman”

This last treatment seems to be a doozy. My blood counts, for red, white and platelets, were predictably at there lowest point when I went in for my last chemo treatment on the 1st. Because I am due for surgery on April 28th, Dr. Anderson scheduled a nuelesta shot for me- adding a whole new…

Resiliency

Early on Dr. Allderdice had me fill out a whole page of questions, and sign it. One of the Questions was “How committed are you to your healing?”  He was asking for a percentage.  I said 100%.  So when I feel whiny about taking 25 pills everyday, or doing hydrotherapy in the shower (which means…