My writing on this here blog seems to come to a standstill – languish, and then sputter and start up again for a brief sojourn. This is one such sojourn. In December it will be five years since my breast cancering diagnosis, that arbitrary border of the recurrence danger zone. Though of course there are…
Category: Cancer
Cancer: tightrope, time bomb, or agent of freedom?
There is a tightrope walked by folks after a cancering diagnosis. On one end of the rope is the diagnosis, on the other is death. A diagnosis changes your perception of how long that rope might be. Whereas prior to diagnosis most folks imagine themselves living to a ripe old age while dandling smiling great grand babies on…
Chemo Brain and Object Permanence
Long time no post people. I am still here, and theoretically not cancering. Part One is about Chemo Brain, and Part Two is an update of sorts… Part 1 : Chemical Brain Remodeling So, the Brain, what is up with the brain? If I know anything it is that the cancering treatment experience resulted in…
Neuropathy: the numbing down of cancering folk.
Neuropathy is a side effect of many cancering drugs. It can have long lasting, and even permanent impact. Balancing effectiveness with neurotoxic side effects is the job of the oncologist. I for one would not want to be in the driver’s seat for that one. Especially with a rubric where weight and age are the…
Letting down my guard.
Which wolf do you want to feed? Fear, hate and loathing on one side, compassion and joy on the other. Which wolf do you want to be stronger? What you feed grows stronger. These days my focus in life is shifting – I am looking for ways to feed the loving wolf. It could be…
Cha-Cha-Cha Changes
Have you ever come across a missive from an earlier version of yourself? A note or writing or creative project long forgotten that upon discovery doesn’t inspire any rekindling of memory? It seems like a small miracle- finding such a small snippet. As if the younger smarter me had it all figured out, and left…
Eating well in the age of cancer.
“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.” -Virginia Woolf At this very moment, mothers the world over are asking their children these questions. “What did you have for breakfast?” and “What have you eaten today?” Food intimately links us to life. The first action of a baby after being born…
Reweaving my Life: unraveling, deconstructing & reimagining
In addition to whatever else I may be, I am a weaver. String and me go way back. It started when my wonderful Aunt Phyllis helped me weave a green rag rug on her floor loom when I was seven years old. Which later set me up for the work study job I got while pursuing…
Recurrence, an Oncoming Train?
(Disclaimer: Many of you know that I just visited my oncology team last week- Just so you know, all tests came back normal. I continue to have no evidence of returning disease. I am feeling happy, humble and very grateful for being in this place in this moment.) I have thought of western treatments like…
Is it time to retire my Oncologist?
Joe sent me a thought provoking article from the New Yorker on the need for incremental medicine, the kind practiced by old fashioned generalists, contrasted with the heroic medicine practiced by specialists. Which of course had me thinking about how Cancering treatments might be different if we valued the more subtle aspects of medicine as much as…
What you need to know about Existential Suffering
Pain and Suffering are different things. This is something I have pondered in superficial ways at times. After reading quite an amazing post, Pain vs Suffering: Why they’re not the same for Patients, on the blog Heart Sisters, my mind is whirling. Carolyn Thomas’s well researched article explains so much. Though she is a longtime cardiology patient, her insights…
Riding the Pooka 