Scan-xiety and Cancering Tourette’s

Good Morning. It’s MRI day here in PookaLand. On the approach to my annual MRI and quarterly blood suck with visit to Dr. Oncology Man, the vibe around here definitely gets a bit wonky. As in deep breathing verging on hyperventilating, and the brain power of a newt. The last few days have seriously been well,…

Going Platinum – Visions of Carboplatin

Platinum, the rare, the noble, the impervious to corruption. Also a toxic heavy metal when administered as the drug Carboplatin. What does it mean to go Platinum? I will answer that today, continuing the summing up of my take on the chemo drugs I took.  Why would I want to do that? After all it has been over two…

Loan Sharks and Cat Naps

“Better listen girl to what I’m tellin’ you You better listen girl, or we are through You better stop all your foolin’ around Stop your runnin’ all over town ‘Cause you’re pushin’ too hard Pushin’ too hard on me (too hard)” The Seeds 1966 Crash. Time’s up. Your goose is cooked. I think that I…

On the Emotional Aftermath of Mastectomy.

This is another post from the draft vault. Written May 2014 a few weeks after my mastectomy and never posted. Though I have written more on the theme of this piece since 2014, I post this now, at the two year anniversary of my surgery, in service to all those who are wrestling with their own feelings either in the…

Body Sovereignty

Tomorrow we travel to Portland to visit with both Compass Oncology for a blood draw and check up, and to Hai Shan clinic for acupuncture and a reset of my swamp tea formula. The two sides of my treatment coin at the moment. After watching the huge TTAC documentary a few weeks ago, and then…

Contributing Factors Part 1 – Sickness

Part One – Why do we get sick? When my friend Jenniveeve, found out I was having a cancer party in my boob, she called me up to offer support.  She wanted to know Why I thought I had cancer? The ten million dollar question to be sure.  We talked about what would happen if…

Tuning in

This was a really fun weekend. My friend Rebecca Harrison came to the coast to offer individual Alexander Method sessions, and to teach another short Alexander workshop.  The topic this time was the senses – tuning into ourselves from the inside out. The class was really intimate, just four of us. It seems that this was…

Time Tracking Shenanigans

Lately I have been re-noticing that I am still losing track of things/people/tasks. Time is pretty variable these days.  As I have always been shall we say “time challenged” this isn’t exactly new. However as certain aspects of my chemo-brain continue to heal, namely spacial perception, it makes the other ways my brain has been changed far more noticeable, and…

Are you sure you really ever had cancer?

As I approach the anniversary of my diagnosis I have been reflecting on how far I have come.  This post is perhaps a bit more in the realm of venting than usual. Details of my western medical treatments and their aftermath, along with the effects of impertinent questions. Read at your own risk. I will have my…

Bali Ha’i

Bali Ha’i may call you, Any night, any day, In your heart, you’ll hear it call you: “Come away…Come away.” Bali Ha’i will whisper On the wind of the sea: “Here am I, your special island! Come to me, come to me!” Sometime in January I started to have hot flashes. Micro bursts of temperature…

On the other hand . . .

When I look down at my right hand, I see the progression of my treatments visually etched into my nails. Stripes mark the 3-week intervals. The discolored areas that separated from the nail bed, due to the toxins in the yew-based chemo, are now nearly grown out, while the pale stripes marking the Herceptin continue. I…

Radiation

“There’s radiation on my windshield Paranoia in my mind and my heart is weighted down with the mistakes of my own kind.” Joanne Rand Back a few weeks ago when I was declared to be at stage 0, I decided to forgo radiation treatments. On Friday morning I received an upsetting call from the Radiation…