The Saturation Point

Oh happy May.  Saturday Joe and I went for a delightful walk on an old logging road into the state forest behind Alderbrook.  Immersing ourselves in bird song and the verdant growth of unfurling spring leaves. We spoke of what nurtures, of what fills up our batteries, and how to prioritize joyful activities. Both of us have a…

A Tale of Two Tamoxifens – a case study

*2016 update: I wrote this post in early 2015 while figuring out which brand of Tamoxifen worked best for me. I have since also adjusted my dose from 20mg, to 10mg.  The first thing I do each morning is to push back the curtain and look out at the landscape.  Morning meditation is spent observing the light…

Life changing magic.

Anyone who knows me well knows that, in the words of my friend Gila, “You guys are ALWAYS cleaning your house!” True, and unfortunately our house is still usually in a state of mild to severe chaos. In other words, messy. During the dark days of founding the bakery, when it was sometimes difficult to…

Triple blessings.

This week I started back on my exercise routine, after various busy factors got in the way for several weeks. I’ve been enjoying getting back into the swing of walking on the river path. And boy oh boy are the birds whooping it up out there. The birds are really singing in Alderbrook.  Alleluia! say the Widgeons. Alleluia!…

77 Reasons to Relish our Wild Spaces.

As of late I have been hearing the frogs singing into the night, and have caught just a few bars of the red wing blackbird practicing his song. The quickening of spring is a time of immense transition as the winter birds begin to gather themselves to fly towards their nesting grounds, and the summer birds…

Lessons from Apple Trees

The house I lived in until I was ten, had many apple trees on the property, both in the yard and out in the pasture to the east.  These were big old trees, probably over a hundred years old.  Though the apples from them were beset with scab and coddling moths, they were still very much worth…

We’ve got rhythm…

“Old man Trouble, I don’t mind him You won’t find him ’round my door I’ve got starlight, I’ve got sweet dreams I’ve got my man Who could ask for anything more? I’ve got rhythm, I’ve got music I’ve got daisies in green pastures I’ve got starlight, I’ve got sweet dreams I’ve got my man Who…

Off with the Training Wheels!

This week it is time to get clear about my hopes for the New Year, and do my best to put the old year to rest.  On December 30th I woke up smiling- because it was 6:30 not 4:45 a.m. and for the first time in over a year there was no reason to drive to Portland for…

Paradise Lost

“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven..” ― John Milton, Paradise Lost During the thick of my chemo treatments I floated through in an optimistically focused fog.  Mid summer we were scheduled for our “survivorship” appointment with a counselor at Compass Oncology. Which…

An Over-Expression of the Heart

Every three weeks I entered the infusion room with a sharpie marker. I used it to write little messages or blessings on my IV bags. Things like ” Thank you yew tree” on the bag of Taxotere, or “Avoid the heart” on the Herceptin. The little ritual of checking to make sure it was my name…

The Happy Anniversary Conundrum.

A year ago yesterday I was given a diagnosis, and got on the Pooka’s back, thereby starting my wild transformative journey. I could not even say the word mastectomy out loud then, I had lots of fear. (I now know that some of my anxiety the week of my biopsy and diagnosis was directly related to a…

Taking care of our own.

Monday afternoon was sunny and crisply cold, the sky a rich winter blue. I attended the beautiful funeral of my friend Meg. Prayers in Hebrew, and of a more Buddhist nature were recited at the graveside service. Words from Shakespeare, Wendell Berry and a Michigan artist/naturalist Gwen Frostic were spoken. Several people stepped forth with stories from the…