When my MRI appointment came onto the scene in September my anxiety reached near epic proportions. It is stunning to me that I could be more, much more, anxious waiting for a routine check up than I was at nearly any time during my year of treatments in 2014. I am coming to recognize that anxiety is in part simply a communication between…
Search Results for: tamoxifen
Attack of the Gallbladder Sludge Monster!
Polyps and Sludge and Cysts! OH MY! When one thinks of the stereotype of elders exchanging complaints around the dinner table, things like “the rheumatism” “gout ” and “gallbladder troubles” likely come to mind. In the hubris manner of the young and the healthy I imagined that I would never fall prey to such topics of conversation. Ye…
Holding up the sky for Chicken Little.
First off my MRI results came to the Clinic yesterday and the Nurse Practitioner, Marion, gave me the all clear. I looked at the report – and it is annoyingly brief. One would think with all the angst I have been feeling this past week that it would have more than a few sentence fragments….
The Buddha in the borderlands
There are so many words swirling around these days. The world is filled to overflowing with events. I have been writing and writing – considering and dreaming – processing and lamenting. There are 31 posts in what I call the draft drawer. Tackling topics like; racism in America, hard friendships, Tamoxifen.. again, the healing power…
Body Sovereignty
Tomorrow we travel to Portland to visit with both Compass Oncology for a blood draw and check up, and to Hai Shan clinic for acupuncture and a reset of my swamp tea formula. The two sides of my treatment coin at the moment. After watching the huge TTAC documentary a few weeks ago, and then…
Contributing Factors Part 2- Wellness
My last post focused on a top ten list of why I believe I started cancering. This here post is a roundup of things I count towards health. I’m curious about what others are trying- please comment below as to what feels healing to you. When ever I have gone into the Oncologist’s office, or…
Time Tracking Shenanigans
Lately I have been re-noticing that I am still losing track of things/people/tasks. Time is pretty variable these days. As I have always been shall we say “time challenged” this isn’t exactly new. However as certain aspects of my chemo-brain continue to heal, namely spacial perception, it makes the other ways my brain has been changed far more noticeable, and…
Don’t Think about Pink Elephants
There is a certain looking-for-trouble aspect of the oncology world that rattles me. I am going in for my yearly mammogram next week. A ridiculous activity geared to make money versus because it makes sense. Everyone in the equation knows that I have an extremely dense breast, and that my mammogram will be inconclusive – a breast…
An Over-Expression of the Heart
Every three weeks I entered the infusion room with a sharpie marker. I used it to write little messages or blessings on my IV bags. Things like ” Thank you yew tree” on the bag of Taxotere, or “Avoid the heart” on the Herceptin. The little ritual of checking to make sure it was my name…
Bali Ha’i
Bali Ha’i may call you, Any night, any day, In your heart, you’ll hear it call you: “Come away…Come away.” Bali Ha’i will whisper On the wind of the sea: “Here am I, your special island! Come to me, come to me!” Sometime in January I started to have hot flashes. Micro bursts of temperature…
Riding the Pooka 